I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
