If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
