haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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