Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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