is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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