Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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