oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
