Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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