I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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