He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
