Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
