If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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