I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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