In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
