I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
