it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
