PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
