He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
