The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
