That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
