you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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