all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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