I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
