Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize