The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
