It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
