Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize