i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
