I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yo dont text me then not text me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
