Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize