The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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