Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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