tell your sister to shave her snatch
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
