what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
