so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
