You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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