Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
