she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize