So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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