I faked an abortion last night.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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