We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize
