i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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