Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
