If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
