in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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