come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
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hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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