Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Come on in and take your pants off
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
