Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
His hands were made for my vagina.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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