so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
