So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize