Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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