Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
