Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
