Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
