CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she smelled like a LAN party
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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